Following His Steps

Long time no write here.  Busy with my own hectic life. Everyday reach home at 5.30 pm. As to make my burdens heavier, there are many assignments and homework to do. I need to sleep at least 1 hour before doing all of those things. I must admit it, sometimes i am distracted by your presence. It is already okay now. Hope i can master SELF CONTROL, PERSEVERANCE, and HOLINESS. I start procrastinating my quiet time and personal prayer to Him.

Following His steps? Easy or difficult? I find in myself that it is not an easy things to do. Share something with you. Remember about my first blog? I thing a similar incident happened again for this time. But this time, it is purely my fault.

These past few days, i have committed a supposed-to-be-small mistake to my friend. I did not know what exactly passed in my mind. I lied to someone and this lie did a great impact for the person. She felt cheated and deceived. She refused to talk to me again because i had misused her trust. I did not know whether this trust could be regained. I had tried it. And it couldn't be helped. I guessed she just did not want to know me anymore. Let her calm down first and talk to her again later. I bet she was very angry. 

"Sorry" alone was not enough for her to forgive me. I thought i would use the same tactic as in the past. Yeah. Showing my care and love through action. But the same tactic could not work twice, i guessed. This time the more i talked to her, the more she felt disturbed and annoyed in the end. Let the time healed. Actually i did not want to just end this up. I felt guilty. I was frustrated. I still wanted her to be my friend. The condition was more complicated than you could imagine. Nobody knew the trouble i had seen until i posted it here.

"I just couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that Samuel is not what i think he is," she replied. Do you know how much it hurts me. This sentence only was like piercing me to shreds. I did not even dare to read the rest.

I couldn't bring her near to Lord because of my silly mistake. She might not want to know Jesus anymore as she thought all Christians were the same. Hypocritical. They just made up a pretty face in front but a dirty heart behind. 

I hoped we could examine our own hearts deeply. Have you gone through this kind of problem?

Now can you see it? It is not easy to be like Jesus. I know all the principles but i simply do not have a humble heart to do it. Maybe because of my wrong deed, i have disappointed Him. I am supposed to be His witness in my daily life, but it is not that easy i guess. I tend to please myself and blame on others. One wrong step and we will follow the wrong path. Do not choose the wrong sign. I regret it now but i will learn from my mistake and you should too. Never ever lie regardless any conditions, situations and circumstances. It will just dig your own graveyard.

Father, i need your Holy Spirit to follow Your steps. I can't do it alone. Give me a humble heart and Your strength to overcome these obstacles and trials. Guide me to Your path, so i have a humble heart to serve you always. Amen.